Whether you’re recovering from alcohol use disorder, have recently experienced trauma and don’t want substance abuse to become a problem, or are looking for help for other reasons, sober communities are a remarkably diverse source of mental health help. That’s especially true for men who are often not handed healthy ways to cope and instead must resort to self-medication and alcohol to manage the symptoms of trauma. Sober living homes offer a mix of accountability to help you stay sober, access to therapy and treatment, and healthy living so you can recover from trauma rather than making problems worse.
This article will go over how a sober community or sober living home can help men to cope with trauma. However, it’s also important to keep in mind that you can and should seek out therapy and support.
Alcohol-Free
Today, an estimated 29.5 million people or one in 10 adults in the United States struggles with an alcohol use disorder. Millions more binge alcohol or qualify as heavy users, putting them at risk of the same. For men, alcohol is often pitched as a normal way to cope with life being hard. It’s not unusual to see men using alcohol to cope with breakups, car accidents, and other forms of trauma in movies. Yet, that’s unhealthy and ultimately leads to physical and mental health problems.
Moving to a sober home means that you’re in an environment that is alcohol free. Not only will you not be able to use alcohol to cope with stress there, you’ll be handed healthy coping mechanisms instead. And, with checkups and accountability, you’ll more easily be able to stick to staying alcohol free over the period than you would if you were trying it alone.
Structured Living
Sober living homes also offer structured living. That can be immensely valuable for recovery from trauma. It also means that you’ll build a structure that supports good mental health, that doesn’t include alcohol, and that gives you positive ways to cope with stress and deal with trauma. Consistency and structure are often considered key in recovering from trauma, because it gives your nervous system a break. You know what to expect, how to expect it, and what will be happening.
Sober living homes offer that with:
- Wakeup/bedtime routines and a lights out call for the entire house
- Set meal times
- Group schedules for cleaning and maintenance
- Group exercise (hiking, walking, spinning, yoga, etc.)
In most cases, the structure will be designed around building healthy routines around cleaning, cooking, a good sleep rhythm, and a good exercise rhythm. You’ll also do everything as a group, which means you’ll be better able to motivate yourself with social accountability.
The goal is often to help you build habits now that will help you to be mentally and physically healthy. However, longer-term, the goal is to build habits that you can transition to your own structure when you move back to living on your own. And, if you can build a structure where you get out of bed and go to bed at about the same times every day, eat healthy meals most of the time, and spend time every day dedicated to cleaning up, you’re already a long way towards that goal.
Male-Only
Many sober living communities are divided by gender, which means you may end up in a group of men looking for recovery and support. That means you’ll be in an environment where you feel less pressure to compete or to look good, less pressure to “be everything a man should be”, and less need to show off. Putting yourself in a group with only men means you’ll be around people who are more likely to share your worldview, your social upbringing, and your experiences. That will mean you can approach therapy and counseling as a group from roughly the same place, which doesn’t always happen in mixed-gender groups.
Of course, not all sober communities do offer this. On the other hand, it can be greatly beneficial while you are recovering from trauma, because you’ll have fewer things to worry about, fewer things to be concerned about, and a more open environment where you might feel more open to being vulnerable.
Group Activities
Trauma and trauma recovery can be isolating, and they can make you feel alone. That’s more true if you’re also in recovery. However, anyone recovering from trauma is likely to feel isolated from their friends and family. This means that moving into a group situation where you do things together will reduce those feelings of loneliness. That’s even more true for men who often struggle to make new friends in new situations, especially as they get older.
Sober living communities mean that you can do things like cooking, cleaning, exercise, and other chores together. That can mean:
- Reduced feelings of loneliness
- Opportunities to make friends
- Meeting people who are also experiencing and recovering from trauma
You’ll also get social accountability for things like cleaning, working out, cooking healthy meals, actually eating, and doing things for your mental health. You’ll be able to talk to other people who are experiencing the same things and hearing similar things in therapy. That means you’ll be able to talk about therapy, talk about building healthy routines and habits, and otherwise talk about self-improvement with a group that understands where you’re coming from and what you need rather than a group that might feel you’re being preachy or suggesting they aren’t good enough because they aren’t doing the same.
This means you will get social support, although it may take you some time to make friends. In addition, you will have opportunities to hang out with, make friends with, and otherwise go to events with like-minded people.
Access to Care
Most sober communities offer some form of counseling or support as part of the service. That may be a counselor who checks in on the group every few days. It may be a live-in guidance counselor. Or, it might be a therapist and weekly scheduled meetings and visits. Sober communities often exist as transitions between rehab centers and living on your own. Others exist as support for people who want to stay clean and sober and need structured support to do so. And, many exist with dual-diagnosis and complications like trauma, anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems in mind. This means that you can likely find a sober community that offers ongoing therapy and treatment. Even if you don’t, your sober community will offer easier access to therapy and counseling, so that if things do start to go badly, you have a safety net and easier access to treatment.
Getting Help
If you’re struggling with trauma, it’s important to reach out and get help. Trauma counseling and therapy can help you to come to terms with trauma, to cope with it in healthy ways, and to give it a place in your life, without it taking over your life. Having support, someone to listen, and getting the help you need early on can prevent a lot of complications and it can improve your quality of life.
Getting extra support in the form of a sober living community can also help, but it won’t replace therapy and guidance towards your actual recovery.
However, the structured living, help with staying sober, and ongoing support offered by a sober community can greatly benefit your recovery from trauma.
